• tyrell

(no subject)

It should be noted that London was not the only UK city to suffer an attempted terrorist attack recently. As well as the horrifying destruction of some rubbish bins near a bad London nightclub, and the finding and disarming of a second carbomb that also didn't go off, the extremists chose a third target.

Glasgow.

Two men drove a flaming car into the glass doors of Glasgow airport (in Scotland). Unfortunately, the car then failed completely to blow up or do anything else interesting, apart from setting one of the terrorists on fire. He got out and attempted to roll on the ground, as you would when your head is on fire. He and his friend exited the car, and immediately discovered the reason that choosing this particular city may have been a bad idea: 'the people of Glasgow'.

See, if you're going to try to use violence to instill fear and panic, you need to do it somewhere where the people aren't famous around the country for being bloody good at it themselves. "Oh no, some violence! I haven't seen much of that... this week" they might say. Apart from anything else, Glasgow is one of the main places outside Northern Ireland where sectarian violence between Catholics and Protestants still goes on - and I've some advice for any muslim extremists out there: you do NOT want to make both sides put down the broken bottles and pay attention to you instead.

So the failed comedians 'terrorists' ran from the vehicle. One man was on fire, and rolled on the ground. Then something a little unexpected happened. They were promptly:

arrested by police
able to make a getaway
beaten up by random members of the public.

The man on fire did put himself out, apparently, and possibly while still on the floor then received a good kicking. From everyone who happened to be around at the time. Oh, and then the police turned up and the two would-be martyrs got very arrested.

Londoners may shrug and say they've seen it all before, but Glaswegians will put the boot in if you try any of that shit on their patch.

In honour of the wave of increasingly inept and comedy terrorists providing amusement for the UK, http://london.fridaycities.com has recommended a new version of the 'Terror Threat Levels' chart. Enjoy.

tea, cuppa

Conspiracy Theories

Posted by request

Cynical explanation 2d:

Gamemaster Karl Rove, "Gordon is the new PM in Britain. How do you react?"

Several players confer. "We bomb him! We've got a couple of Drummer Girl car bombs -- Mercedes packed with explosives. And, uh, an SUV we can set on fire."

Gordon comes to table, balancing several rulebooks, a pint of Guinness, and a plate of munchies, and whines, "I say, fellows, that's not cricket. I haven't even had a chance to finish rolling for power, status, and charm."

Terrorist gives him a long, disbelieving look. "Why are you talking like Bertie Wooster?"

"Weel, I'm trying me best. Taking lessons in deportment and eeelocution from some Sassenach. He said I should try to talk like Hugh Grant looks. Vapidly English, ye ken."

Terrorists laugh so hard one of them chokes on a Twinkie and has to be pounded on the back.

Gamemaster sighs loudly. "Well, Mr. Prime Minister, *sir*, don't worry about rolling for charm. This is a guaranteed way to get a lot of approval points fast. Just don't piss them away like Dubya there."

Dubya, drunkenly waving a whiskey bottle, "I'm a Paladin! Anything I do is right! Anybody doesn't approve, they must be the Ack-ack-axis of Evil."

Everyone ignores him.

The GM says, "To get back to reality, guys, Gordon needs to roll for damage. Roll three D20s."

"Yes! Yes! Total of four, you terrorist bastards! Hah, see what you get for attacking the British lion!"

Rove consults a chart. "Sorry, boys, your Mercedes car bombs don't make it. One gets towed, and the other is discovered and disarmed. But the SUV. . . ."

Terrorists hold their breath.

"The SUV doesn't explode on impact, and when you set it on fire, you're caught and arrested. Now roll for damages from the flames."
a getting there

Once more, (with feeling fed-up)

Some idiot dumped a car-bomb in central London.

Look chum, most drivers are annoyed about the congestion charge. If you don't want your car you can avoid the hassle of blowing it up. Give it to Freecycle. It's less trouble all round and people will like you better.
  • Current Mood
    pissed off pissed off

stop the world... im getting off

Just watching the news about  the aniversary of the bombs in London last year.
Why do they keep saying "this is a day of national mourning, all cultures comming together to grieve". Thay keep repeating those exact words. its on the auto-cue.
And its bollocks. This is cut in with reports of explosions in Iraq and no one is pointing out the irony here.  And now heres Alan with the sports news........

Sometimes I have to check Iv not put my Brass Eye tape in by misstake
  • maxrael

Protest against the Chinese Fur Trade

Sincere apologies if no-one's interested... but if just one person is... etc

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Worldwide Day of Protest against the Chinese Fur Trade, 13 February 2006
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London Demo, meet 12 noon, at Embassy of People's Republic of China, 49-51 Portland Place, London W1N 3AH. (nearest Tube Oxford Circus or Regents Park)

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