Uncle Steve (tyrell) wrote in london_hurts,
Uncle Steve

It should be noted that London was not the only UK city to suffer an attempted terrorist attack recently. As well as the horrifying destruction of some rubbish bins near a bad London nightclub, and the finding and disarming of a second carbomb that also didn't go off, the extremists chose a third target.


Two men drove a flaming car into the glass doors of Glasgow airport (in Scotland). Unfortunately, the car then failed completely to blow up or do anything else interesting, apart from setting one of the terrorists on fire. He got out and attempted to roll on the ground, as you would when your head is on fire. He and his friend exited the car, and immediately discovered the reason that choosing this particular city may have been a bad idea: 'the people of Glasgow'.

See, if you're going to try to use violence to instill fear and panic, you need to do it somewhere where the people aren't famous around the country for being bloody good at it themselves. "Oh no, some violence! I haven't seen much of that... this week" they might say. Apart from anything else, Glasgow is one of the main places outside Northern Ireland where sectarian violence between Catholics and Protestants still goes on - and I've some advice for any muslim extremists out there: you do NOT want to make both sides put down the broken bottles and pay attention to you instead.

So the failed comedians 'terrorists' ran from the vehicle. One man was on fire, and rolled on the ground. Then something a little unexpected happened. They were promptly:

arrested by police
able to make a getaway
beaten up by random members of the public.

The man on fire did put himself out, apparently, and possibly while still on the floor then received a good kicking. From everyone who happened to be around at the time. Oh, and then the police turned up and the two would-be martyrs got very arrested.

Londoners may shrug and say they've seen it all before, but Glaswegians will put the boot in if you try any of that shit on their patch.

In honour of the wave of increasingly inept and comedy terrorists providing amusement for the UK, http://london.fridaycities.com has recommended a new version of the 'Terror Threat Levels' chart. Enjoy.

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