Candlelight (candlelight1228) wrote in london_hurts,
2005-08-15 21:34:00
  • Mood: amused

Western World Politics [JOKE]



Following the events in London last week the French government
announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from
'Run' to 'Hide'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender'
and 'Collaborate'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which
destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing military.

As a response to this The Italians have increased their alert level
from "shouting excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Twomore
levels in, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans have also increased their alert state from "disdainful
arrogance" to "full dress-uniform and marching songs". They have two
higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone
from "isolationism" to "find some whereripe for regime change". Their
remaining higher alert states are "take on the world" and "ask the
British for help".

Finally here in GB we've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to
"make another cup of tea". Our higher levels are "chin-up and remain
cheerful" and "win".
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  • 20 comments

thewordsihate

August 16 2005, 06:08:40 UTC 7 years ago

I think the jpegs of the fake terror alert bars for these countries were funnier. Can't seem to find them though.

candlelight1228

August 16 2005, 11:32:06 UTC 7 years ago

Hadn't seen them actually. This is the first I have seen of this particular joke.

felflowne

August 16 2005, 10:23:52 UTC 7 years ago

I like it *thumbs up* :)

bridge_troll

August 16 2005, 12:32:43 UTC 7 years ago

The Americans also have: Fire on civilians, fire on allies and fire on selves.

oriontsuki

August 16 2005, 23:52:22 UTC 7 years ago

Under the name of 'collateral damage', please... ^^

mamajoan

August 16 2005, 13:35:38 UTC 7 years ago

LOL, I think the Italians "shouting excitedly" is my favorite part. :D

chickenfeet2003

August 16 2005, 18:35:44 UTC 7 years ago

I think the British one has just been raised to "Shoot people with sun tans on sight"

hano

August 16 2005, 20:43:56 UTC 7 years ago

Does this mean Robert Kilroy Silk hasn't got long left?

chickenfeet2003

August 16 2005, 21:25:18 UTC 7 years ago

well I guess that would be the upside

spiralstairs

August 28 2005, 21:47:40 UTC 7 years ago

Heehe. Can I metaquotes this?

candlelight1228

August 29 2005, 18:59:50 UTC 7 years ago

I don't have a problem with that... :)

strix_an_stones

August 29 2005, 23:24:12 UTC 7 years ago

*love this*

See, in America, even are cats are armed.

b_phil

August 30 2005, 03:42:12 UTC 7 years ago

Big mice here.

strix_an_stones

August 30 2005, 13:33:16 UTC 7 years ago

I love that squirrel.

Oddly enough he reminded me of a news item I wanted to post on my lj. But I'll shre it here instead.

It was a good week for overkill, after officials at the Pat Butler Elementary School in California proposed using fuel-air explosives in their war against local squirrels. "They need to go through that to eliminate squirrels?" neighbor Mary Golich asked, after a test on the school's playing field. "It sounded liek an invasion."

It amused me greatly because most American's would read something like that and assume it was happening in Texas or the Appalachians/Ozarks (name a mountain range) and not California, the land of the over sensitive. Disturbing, but amusing.

candlelight1228

September 2 2005, 19:59:05 UTC 7 years ago

I am amused you think California is the land of the overly sensitive...

Honestly though anything you can do to get rid of local squirrels is a bonus in my book. Destructive little vermin.

strix_an_stones

September 7 2005, 13:58:34 UTC 7 years ago

In comparasion to the rest of the country, California is way more touchy on a number of issues. Be amused *shrugs*

Anonymous

September 7 2005, 15:37:13 UTC 7 years ago

I suppose so. Never much thought about it, tbph. (refresh my memory on who that is in your icon... I remember watch a lot of his comics but can't remember his name...Foamy?)

I'm originally from California, btw.

candlelight1228

September 7 2005, 15:38:25 UTC 7 years ago

Opps... sorry wasn't logged in.

strix_an_stones

September 7 2005, 21:11:34 UTC 7 years ago

:) foamy yes, love this mouthy little squirrel you can watch some cartoons at www.illwillpress.com

I have family friends who live in California, they come here to visit more often than we get to return the favor but there is a distinct difference - most notably on smoking. I quit in 1999 but not so the rest of the family. One of the males here is of the opinion that when a 'silicone Barbie' has the nerve to scream about pollutants at a smoker 15-feet away in an outdoor, downtown LA bus terminal - bitchslapping is appropriate. Therefore he's not traveling there ever again. Safer for everyone that way.

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